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Widow's Permission Slips with Gladys Jean Ullstam
Nobody hands you a rulebook when your person dies. But somehow, everybody seems to have an opinion about how you should be grieving — how long it should take, how sad you're allowed to be, when you should start feeling better, and what moving forward is supposed to look like.
This podcast is a permission slip for all of it.
Widow's Permission Slips is hosted by Gladys Jean Ullstam — certified life coach and Gary's widow. Gary died in late November of 2021. He was 56 and a quarter years old. And Gladys is still, every single day, figuring out what it means to keep going without him.
Each episode, Gladys sits with you in one specific thing you might be experiencing — the exhaustion, the guilt, the identity questions, the impossible holidays, the moments nobody warned you about. Not to fix it. Not to rush you through it. Just to say: you are not alone in this, and you have permission.
Widow's Permission Slips is written primarily for widows — but if you have lost a spouse or partner and you are trying to find your footing, you belong here too.
New episodes drop regularly. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
Gladys Jean Ullstam is the founder of Ember & Bloom Coaching for Widows and a certified life coach. To book a free Holding the Ember discovery call, visit emberandbloomcoaching.com/appointments.
Episodes
13 episodes
Monday Permission Slip - Out of the Cave - 8.10.26
Widowhood makes you want to get small. To pull the world in close, shut the door, and stay in the cave where it feels safe. I know that pull. I felt it hard after Gary died. In this episode, I talk about what happened when I made myself venture...
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Episode 10 — What to Do With the People Who Say the Wrong Thing (Every Time)
He is in a better place. At least you had the years you had. Everything happens for a reason. And my personal favorite, the head tilt, which doesn't even need words. If you've been widowed for more than about a week, you've collected a whole pi...
Monday (?) Permission Slip - The Bucket & the Lazy River - 8.3.26
This weekend I floated around a lazy river, watching a giant bucket fill up and dump on the people below. If you see it coming, you can brace for it. It's unpleasant, but you knew what you signed up for. If you don't see it coming, it knocks yo...
Episode 9 — When the People You Expected to Show Up Didn't
In the first two weeks after Gary died, my phone never stopped. Then somewhere around week six, it got quiet. Some of the people I was most sure of were the ones I never heard from again. In this episode, I talk about the second loss nobody pre...
Episode 8 — The Identity Question Nobody Prepared You For
A few weeks after Gary died, I had to fill out a form at the bank. Marital status. Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed. My pen just stopped. In this episode, I talk about the question that shows up in waiting rooms and quiet kitchens after your ...
Monday Permission Slip - Tired of Being Brave - July 20, 2026
July 20th - MONDAY Permission Slip Strong. You're so strong, I don't know how you do it, you're handling this so well. People hand widows that word like a gift, but if you've been widowed more than a few weeks, you know it starts to fe...
Episode 7 — The Love Was Never a Debt
Early in my grief, my brain told me a lie. It said I deserved to be widowed. In this episode, I share where that thought came from, why it felt so true, and the simple journal exercise that broke the spell. If your brain has ever told you...
Episode 6 — Wanting Things Again
It sneaks up on you. Out of nowhere, you want something again. You laugh a real laugh, you crave a good meal, you catch yourself enjoying an ordinary morning. And then the guilt rushes in right behind it, because how dare you want anything when...
Episode 5 — Let Yourself Be Changed
People love to reassure you that the old you will come back, that one day you will feel like yourself again. But what if that is not true, and what if it does not need to be? Grief changes you all the way down, the way becoming a parent does. T...
Episode 4 — Grief Is Not a Problem to Solve
Somewhere in the middle of all this, you probably started treating your grief like a problem to solve. The books, the stages, the journal, the app, the quiet hope that if you just do the right things in the right order, one day you will wake up...
Episode 3 — The Grief Nobody Warned You About
Sometimes grief shows up in ways that surprise you. Laughing at the worst possible moment. Feeling nothing at all when you expected to fall apart. A flash of relief that frightens you. Anger that seems to come from nowhere and land everywhere.<...
Episode 2 — Grief Doesn't Have a Schedule
It has been a while now, and you can feel the expectation in the air. The sense that you should be further along by this point. Maybe someone has said it out loud, or maybe it is just the way the conversations around you have moved on while you...
Episode 1 — You Don't Have to Be Okay
Episode 1 — You Don't Have to Be OkayEveryone around you seems to need you to be okay. The friend who keeps telling you how strong you are. The coworker who relaxes when you smile. The part of you that has learned to say "I'm fine...